Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
