Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Randomize
