make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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