Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
