If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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