Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
