Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
