Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
