it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
