There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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