question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
