I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
