Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
