Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
