Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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