just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
