apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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