its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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