I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
