we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
