all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
