They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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