i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
