addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize