Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I met the friendliest cop last night
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
