This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
