im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
