If you die in college, do you die in real life?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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