Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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