I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
