Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
