time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
