i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
NoShamevember. You game?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
