I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
