Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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