who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
