Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
