Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
