it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize