yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
