I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
