he thought i was a dude.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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