I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
