Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You have to summon your inner elephant
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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