How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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