I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
