Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
