Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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