they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The Olympian is in my bed
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
