Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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