My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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