Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
