It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
