Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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