Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
