Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
