shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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