I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
