You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
