Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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