Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
