I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
